Fake Tech Support

Just got one of those fake tech support calls. My partner, Ruth picked up the phone and her approach was quite different to my usual take-no-prisoners tirade of rage:

Fake TS Guy: Hello, this the Technology Department of Microsoft Windows. We are calling about a problem with your computer.

Ruth: A problem with our computer? We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Really? Does anyone in your family have a computer?

Ruth: No. We don’t have any computers. We don’t believe in them.

Fake TS Guy: Um. OK. Thank you. Goodbye.

FIVE MINUTES PASS. THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. I TAKE OVER, TAG TEAM STYLE.

Fake TS Guy: Hello, this the Technology Department of Microsoft Windows. We are calling about a problem with your computer.

Me: You just spoke to my wife. We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Yes I just spoke with the lady of the house. She said she can’t make the phone to the computer.

Me: Sorry?

Fake TS Guy:  I just spoke with the lady of the house. She said she can’t make the phone to the…

Me: She can’t make the phone to the computer? 

Fake TS Guy: Yes, I just spoke to the…

Me: That doesn’t make any sense. There are some words missing in that sentence.

Fake TS Guy: The lady of the house said she can’t make the phone to the computer.

Me: We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Sir, don’t lie to me. I can give you the ID number for your computer.

Me: Oh, can you? That’s strange because, we really don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Oh come now, sir. We can tell you that your phone is in the living room and your computer is in the bedroom.

Me:  That’s strange because, we don’t have a computer. We’re Amish. We don’t use any kind of technology. We live a simple life…

Fake TS Guy: Oh. I am sorry to have disturbed you.

Me: That’s all right. Thank you for calling.

CLICK BRRRRRRRRR

Full Disclosure

There are actually seven desktop computers and laptops in our house. None of them are in the bedroom.

Culture, Funny, Technology

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