Fake Tech Support

Just got one of those fake tech support calls. My partner, Ruth picked up the phone and her approach was quite different to my usual take-no-prisoners tirade of rage:

Fake TS Guy: Hello, this the Technology Department of Microsoft Windows. We are calling about a problem with your computer.

Ruth: A problem with our computer? We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Really? Does anyone in your family have a computer?

Ruth: No. We don’t have any computers. We don’t believe in them.

Fake TS Guy: Um. OK. Thank you. Goodbye.

FIVE MINUTES PASS. THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN. I TAKE OVER, TAG TEAM STYLE.

Fake TS Guy: Hello, this the Technology Department of Microsoft Windows. We are calling about a problem with your computer.

Me: You just spoke to my wife. We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Yes I just spoke with the lady of the house. She said she can’t make the phone to the computer.

Me: Sorry?

Fake TS Guy:  I just spoke with the lady of the house. She said she can’t make the phone to the…

Me: She can’t make the phone to the computer? 

Fake TS Guy: Yes, I just spoke to the…

Me: That doesn’t make any sense. There are some words missing in that sentence.

Fake TS Guy: The lady of the house said she can’t make the phone to the computer.

Me: We don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Sir, don’t lie to me. I can give you the ID number for your computer.

Me: Oh, can you? That’s strange because, we really don’t have a computer.

Fake TS Guy: Oh come now, sir. We can tell you that your phone is in the living room and your computer is in the bedroom.

Me:  That’s strange because, we don’t have a computer. We’re Amish. We don’t use any kind of technology. We live a simple life…

Fake TS Guy: Oh. I am sorry to have disturbed you.

Me: That’s all right. Thank you for calling.

CLICK BRRRRRRRRR

Full Disclosure

There are actually seven desktop computers and laptops in our house. None of them are in the bedroom.

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