Ho, ho, ho – those silly end users eh? With their not-knowing-how-to-use-a-computer ways. How we, the technology cognoscenti, laugh at them and their ill-fitting pants. Latest in a long line of tech support blog fodder memes doing the rounds has been reported at the NY Times, where techno-hack David Pogue transcribes some of the hilarious howlers he picked up on a trip to a blue chip call centre some years ago. When I say “hilarious howlers”, I of course mean predictable tales of computer illiteracy – but at least this one was quite funny:
On one call, the caller seemed to be taking an inordinately long time to complete each instruction she was given.
Agent: Ma’am, I can’t help noticing that every time I give you an instruction, it takes a really long time before you get back to me. Is your computer that slow?
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are YOU KIDDING ME!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!